.:: Kid’s Ice-Box ::.

Everyone has their limit, so do I. For my friends who knows me, I am one person who have tolerated with everything they’ve thrown at me. Sometimes the jokes they give me hurts, but I kept smilling and act like its okay. Some of them might not notice, but I’m a very sensitive person. Sometimes even when their is a problem and the mistake is obviously theirs, I admit its mine. I cover up for people. I let people looked down upon me so everyone can be happy. I let people make a fool out of me so everyone can be happy. I let people unleashed the dragon and allowed them to thinking their right I’m wrong.

All I wanted to be was a nice guy.

A friend.

I kept slient for so long. I thought it wouldn’t bother me, but who am I fooling. I’m the one who is sufering. Yet, I still continue to keep quiet.

Not anymore.

I feel like I can’t keep up anymore.

I am at my limit. I can’t keep on like this.

Why does people treat me like this ? Its it wrong to be a nice person ? Why do people take my feelings and emotions for granted ? Why ? WHY ???

Right now I really feel like pulling my hair, ripping my skin of my flesh, kill and beheaded people while I play and laugh like a madman in their pool of blood.

I will not promise anything, but this is the last time, THE LAST TIME I will give a chance. If it remains the same, if I am treated the same way…

…

Then thank you for everything, farewell, and goodbye.

Yes, a lot of updates…more like a lot of whining and questioning out of curiosity. When you look at me, how old do you think I am ? Forget the fact you know how old, but just imagine you seen me first time, how old do you think I am ?

Huh ? Why I am asking ?

Because someone ask my age and guess it was 24.

…

Another person said I look like 25.

=.='’

Do I look old ? Seriously, just tell me honestly. Please, I would like to know.

Yeah, it’s a quick question : “You’re first impression when you first meet me.”

Why ? I’m just curious. Please do share with me, I don’t mind.

Just when I thought everything was settled.

If you read my previous post regarding this issue, in the comments section, I wrote that I can go to Mecca with no problems, as long I have a letter to prove that I will be going to Mecca. Anyway, like I suspected, my examinations clash with the date I’m going. So, I went to ERU and gave them a letter last week ( Tuesday ). But I was wondering why it was so long for me to get the reply, so I decided to today to ask them again what’s my status for my examination. To my horror, they said I will only know after the second week of the holidays ! To make the matter worse, they said to me they may / may not approve my request to sit for the examination as a first attempt, EVEN THOUGH I ALREADY HAVE A SOLID REASON.

Meaning, its a gamble. I may or may not take the examination as a first attempt, or maybe take it as my supplement. It worries the hell out of me…How am I going to Mecca peacefully like this if my examination status is not confirmed ?

I just hope I can take it as a first attempt…:(

Please pray for me my friends…

*edit*

Well, I just found out that I need someone to defend my case during the BOE ( Board of Examination. ) So, I asked the help of my Dean to help me out. I also found out that usually when it involves people who are going to Umrah, they will give as first attempt. Guess I’m going to depend on fate and luck. I have no more regerts / worries anymore. I can finally go in peace. Even if I graduate / finish late, I guess that’s part of my fate. For now, I want to focus on my spiritual Journey to Mecca.

I’m having a dilemma now…

The examination weeks starts on 1st of October and ends on the 15th of October. The problem is, on the 9th of October, I’m going to Mecca to do Ummrah. Now, I’m worried that the date of my examination will clash with the date I’m going to Mecca, and as far I can remember, Diploma students ALWAYS starts their examination late, usually on the second week of exam. I really want to go to Mecca, and my mum already booked already for me the flight ticket and all. She spent more then RM1000 already for this Umrah. But I also don’t want to miss my examinations and fail it.

I’m having a dilemma now…I can’t wait till the examination date is out. I need to ease my mind, make sure everything will be fine. Tomorrow I will go and discuss with exam unit, hopefully everything will be fine and settled as soon as possible.

Please pray for me to be able to go to Mecca…I really hope I can go…

Last night, I was at my limit. I had to explode in front of that bastard. I can’t stand it, after 4 long years I haven’t met with him, he had to do it AGAIN.

Sure, I can stand whenever people joke with me, physical or words, but what I can’t stand most, if when I joke with that person back, the person reacts like a bloody bastard. Happened right before Wilson’s birthday party ( which I knew later from Adib, around 9.30pm ) Okay, there is a “friend” of mine, name “A”. Nope, you don’t need to know the full name, its not like its going to do you any good. My relationship with this A is like…water and fire. I can’t get along with him at all, but being the guy who always endures everything, I always hide my distatisfaction / angry towards him. He loves to crack jokes, silly ones as well as insulting ones ( knocking my head for no reasons, insulting my family for no reason, making fun of me for no reason ). I lost contact with him for about 4 years. I really felt glad, knowing that I don’t need to tolerate / stand his stupid attitude.

(more…)