.:: Kid’s Ice-Box ::.

For everyone who knows me, I would like to ask for your time for a moment, please, PLEASE read this post. Its dedicated to everyone who knows me, doesn’t knows me or is beginning to know me.

I want to make something very, VERY clear. My name is Ahmad Khurshid Ahmad Khidir, male, 20 years old and I’m just a normal human, bound to make mistakes, big or small. There is absolutely nothing speacial about me. I want to make this very clear, for the last time…( I hope )

I AM NOT A SAINT

You thinking I’m joking ? Nope, I’m not, and I’m seriously pissed off about this matter. Its been bugging me for a lllllooooooooonnnnnnngggggg time already, ever since I small, primary, secondary and when I entered MMU. It’s high time I clear this matter. I’m not asking to think of me as a scum of the earth now, I’m just asking you all to think me as a normal individual, bound to make mistakes, big and small ones. Now, allow me to explain about all the titles that I have been receiving for the past 20 years in my life.

Khurshid, you are a responsible and realiable person.

Responsible ? Responsible my ass. I can’t even clean up my room properly, and can’t focus on my studies well, and I can’t even manage my time well. You called that responsible ? I’m one lazy idiot too, however, when I am given a task, I will put 101% into it, depending on my mood as well. Don’t just simply assume that I’m responsible with knowing me well. Realiable ? What realible ? A good example is EMiNA’s 3rd birthday and GACC. I didn’t completed my task on time. Sometimes I just end up not doing the task at all. So please, spare me the responsible and realiable shit.

Khurshid, you are a leader.

Leader ? Horse shit. I can’t even lead my own team well, and I honestly have problems in working within a group. You call me a leader ? I believe there are people who are more capable of being a leader than me, but in the end, every leader title will be passed to me. I’m being honest, ever since I entered MMU, from the first trimester till now, I am almost ALWAYS, I repeat, ALWAYS the group leader in every group project or assignment. I don’t know why the heck every of my lecturer and friends will ask me to take the group leader position ? Is it because of my attire or how I dress ? Is it my face, personality ? I don’t know, and probally I will never know, but I’m fed up of the leader title handle to me. Group projects, group leader, everything is passed to me. I’m not a good leader, enough. I’m fed up, sick and tried with that title being passed to me.

Khurshid, you are a innocent, religious and good person.

I hate this the most among all the titles I got.

For the last time…I am not a saint. I don’t understand why people think me as a saint ? Is it because of my appearance ? Is it because during Islamic studies I asked a lot of question ? So what ? It doesn’t mean a damn thing. I missed my prayers too, I don’t read the Quran that much. Sometimes during the Friday night, I don’t read Yassin because I forgot or just lazy. I’m not good in religion, I’m in the proccess of learning. I’ve done sins, big and small. However, I haven’t and insyallah will not do things like having sex before marriage, drinking, smoking, taking drugs and killing people. I’m proud of that of course, that I still have my religion, and I still believe it. But I’m not a excellent follower, I’m just ordinary one, bound to make mistakes here and there. Yes, I don’t like going to clubing, free mixing around with male and female, socialize, swearing, copying in exams and quizes and skip classes but that doesn’t make me a good person. I swear before, kick somones ass, lied, and all other things, but why the heck people take me as saint ? In fact, I’ve meet with people who drink, have free sex, behaves like a asshole, but they turned out to be a more better person than I am. So, what gives ?

What pisses me off it that when I do a mistake, big or small, people will like “Oh my god, Khurshid, I don’t believe you are like that ! I thought you are a saint, good person, bla bla“, “Khurshid, what happened to you man ? Your not like the person I used to know, bla bla“, then they will think me as the worst scum or asshole that has ever walked on the face of this earth, think that I’ve changed to the from a good guy to a asshole or scum. Honestly, I’m not a good person in my opinion. I still got a lot of things to learn in life, and they are still a lot of people who are more matured and better than me. Please…I’m asking all those who knows me, please don’t judge me base on my appearance. Stop thinking I’m a saint or whatsoever. I’m just a normal human, BOUND, I repeat, BOUND to make mistakes, small and big ones. I want people to think that I’m normal, not a super good person or whatsoever. I don’t want people to go bonkers if they hear me not doing my homework, skipping classes, dance with a girl, swear, call people names, or whatever.

Just please…for the last time, I am not a saint, and I hope you all can treat me normal, don’t think I’m a saint, religious person. I’m just a normal person. With everything I’ve said, I won’t give a damn if next time I do something wrong, and people would be suprise about it. If someone do come to my face and argue to me about this matter, I’ll just give them the “universal language.”